I just need to know that someone out there listens and understands and doesn’t try to sleep with people even if they could have. I need to know that these people exist.

So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

Bridget who is crazy said that sometimes she thought about suicide when commercials come on during TV.

And I could see this boy doing his homework and thinking about my sister naked. And I could see them holding hands at football games that they do not watch. And I could see this boy throwing up in the bushes at a party house. And I could see my sister putting up with it.
And I felt very bad for both of them.

The fact that one of these ladies was my mom made me particularly sad because my mom is beautiful. And she’s always on a diet. Sometimes, my dad calls her beautiful, but she cannot hear him.

Maybe it’s sad that these are now memories. And maybe it’s not sad.

As much as I don't understand my mom and dad and as much as I feel sorry for both of them sometimes, I can't help but love them very much.

Sam has brown hair and very very pretty green eyes. The kind of green that doesn’t make a big deal about itself.

She was the first girl I ever wanted to ask on a date someday when I can drive.

“You take girls, for example. They’re copying their moms and magazines and everything to know how to act around guys.”

“Sometimes people use thought to not participate in life.”

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”

“He’s my whole world.”
“Don’t ever say that about anyone again. Not even me.”

"I hate you."
My sister said it different than she said it to my dad. She meant it with me. She really did.
"I love you,” was all I could say in return.
"You're a freak, you know that? Everyone says so. They always have."
"I'm trying not to be."

Then I turned around and walked to my room and closed my door and put my head under my pillow and let the quiet put things where they are supposed to be.

“Not everyone has a sob story, Charlie, and even if they do, it’s no excuse.”

Sometimes, I read a book, and I think am the people in the book.

I had to stop watching at that point because I started to feel sick, but it kept going on, and they kept doing other things, and she kept saying “no.” Even when I covered my ears, I could still hear her say that.

Sam tapped her hand on the steering wheel. Patrick held his hand outside the car and made air waves. And I just sat between them. After the song finished, I said something.
“I feel infinite.”

“You see things. You keep quiet about them. And you understand.”