Meredith: To be a good surgeon you have to think like a surgeon. Emotions are messy. Tuck them neatly away and step into a clean sterile room where the procedure is simple. Cut, suture, and close. But sometimes you’re faced with a cut that won’t heal. A cut that rips its stitches wide open.

Meredith: Lets play a game of whose life sucks the most. I'll win. I always win.
Cristina: You don't want to play with me.
Meredith: Oh, I do. I'll even go first. Derek is married. [George spits out his beer]
Cristina: George. Beer is dripping from your nostrils.
Meredith: Told you I'd win.
Cristina: No, you didn't win.
Meredith: Did you hear me? I said Derek is married, as in pig-headed adulterous liar married. Nothing you could say could top that.
Cristina: I'm pregnant. I win. [Joe, the bartender, collapses] Okay, maybe Joe wins.

Meredith: You're sleeping with someone?
George: What? Who?
Cristina: Why is that such a shock? Even George managed to get some action.
George: Correction, George got some syphilis.

Alex: [about George] The dude punches like my sister.
Izzie: Oh, so by your definition, you got beat up by a girl.

Derek: Look I know how you feel.
Meredith: Do you? Some how I doubt that, because if you did you would shut up and you would turn around and go back inside because you would realise that I am this close to getting into my car and running you down in the parking lot.

George: You look nice.
Meredith: I wore my new lip gloss because my ex-boyfriend's wife looks like Isabella freakin' Rossellini and I'm like... me. I'm trying to outdo her when she's the victim here, how crazy is that?
George: Not crazy, you know... smart. Lip gloss prevents chapped lips. You... was that ex-boyfriend?
Meredith: I am an evil mistress.
George: But still... you look nice.

Alex: Surgery is the only specialty where we don't waste time getting to know the patients. They're slabs of meat, we're butchers.
Izzie: They're human beings. You do know what a human being is, don't you evil spawn?
Alex: I'm not evil...unless evil turns you on.
Izzie: Did you ever wake up in the morning and realize that nobody likes you, and... well, I don't know, care?
Alex: Oh, oh, I think somebody likes me.

George: You know Joe?
Bailey: Oh, yeah. I was the only female intern my year. I didn't know anybody and nobody knew me. Except Joe. He knew me.
George: Oh. So you and Joe?
Bailey: All you people ever think about is how to get into somebody's pants. You're nasty. [Slaps George] That's why you got syphilis.

Derek: So I go upstairs, as I'm walking down the hall I try to prepare myself for what I'm going to see when I walk into my bedroom. I step on a man's jacket that doesn't belong to me. And everything I know...just shifts. Because the jacket that doesn't belong to me is a jacket that I recognize, what I know now is that when I go into my bedroom, I'm not just going to see that my wife is cheating on me. I'm going to see that my wife is cheating on me with Mark, who happened to be my best friend... I walked out, flew out to Seattle.
Meredith: And then you met me.
Derek: And then I met you.
Meredith: What was I to you? The girl you screwed to get over being screwed?
Derek: You were like coming up for fresh air. It's like I was drowning and you saved me. That's all I know.
Meredith: It's not enough.

Cristina: The clinic has a policy. They wouldn't let me confirm my appointment unless I designated an emergency contact person. Someone to be there is case and...to know help me home after. Anyway I put your name down, that's why I told you I'm pregnant. You're my person.
Meredith: I am?
Cristina: Yeah, you are. Whatever.
Meredith: Whatever.
Cristina: He dumped me.[Meredith hugs Cristina] You realize this constitutes hugging?
Meredith: Shut up, I'm your person.

Meredith: They say that practice makes perfect. Theory is– the more you think like a surgeon, the more you become like one, the better you get at remaining neutral, clinical, cut, suture, close - the harder it becomes to turn it off. To stop thinking like a surgeon, and remember what it means to think like a human being.

Meredith: I have an aunt who whenever she poured anything for you she would say "Say when!" My aunt would say "Say when!" and of course, we never did. We don't say when because there's something about the possibility, of more. More tequila, more love, more anything. More is better.

Meredith: It's not us. It's them. Them and their stupid boy... Penises. They didn't tell me they have a wife. They gave absolutely no warning that they were going to break up with you.
Cristina: It's not that Burke broke up with me. It's how he broke up with me. Like it was business. Like it was a business trans- Like he was the boss of me?!!
Meredith: He is the boss of you.
Cristina: What's worse is that I care.
Meredith: Ugh I'm going to throw up again. [Gets up and kneels over the toilet] No. Wait. False alarm.
Cristina: The problem is estrogen.
Meredith: No the problem is tequila.
Cristina: You know I used to be all business and then he goes and gets me pregnant.
Meredith: With his stupid boy penis.
Cristina: Now I’m having hormone surges. He ruined me. I'm ruined! He turned me into this... fat, stupid, pregnant girl. Who cares! Estrogen!
Meredith: Penises. Penises, Izzie.
Cristina: Estrogen, George.

Meredith: [brushing off Derek] I am a sink with an open drain. Anything you say runs straight out. [Storms off]
George: She probably could have picked a better metaphor.
Izzie: Give her a break, she's got a hangover.

Addison: We got successful, you and me. We got busy and we got lazy. We didn't even bother to fight anymore, Derek, and Mark was there and I missed you and now I'm sorry. I'm more sorry than you could possibly imagine, but at least I'm talking to you about it.
Derek: I'm a sink with an open drain, Addie.

Meredith: [to George] What are you doing with Olivia? You're letting her think you're emotionally available. You're letting her think she has a chance. And there is nothing worse in the world than thinking you have a chance when you really don't.

Derek: Addison and I are over, Adele.
Addison: It's not like we're divorced.
Derek: Practically divorced.
Adele: [to Addison] You've had counseling?
Derek: We've had adultery, that was enough.

Meredith: But why did you swallow 10 doll heads?
Patient: Because 11 would have been too much...

Cristina: Uhh, uhh, uhh you're stupid. Oh God. You're a stupid evil sadist. I wanna kill you.
Meredith: Endorphins are good. Endorphins are mood elevators. This is supposed to make us feel better!
Cristina: Oh God, do you feel better?
Meredith: I'm stupid.
Cristina: Slutty mistress.
Meredith: Pregnant whore.
Cristina: Sleeping with our bosses was a great idea.
Meredith: You know what's ruined for me? Ferryboats! I used to love ferryboats. And Derek's got a thing for ferryboats. Now every time I see a freaking ferryboat...
Cristina: You know what's ruined for me? Coronary artery bypass grafts! And aortic aneurysms. God I used to love aortic aneurysms.
Meredith: [voiceover] Surgeons are control freaks. With a scalpel in your hand, you feel unstoppable. There's no fear, there's no pain.
Meredith: Have you cried yet?
Cristina: Hello.
Meredith: [voiceover] You're ten-feet tall and bulletproof.
Cristina: Do you think we'd feel better if we cried? You know, just like let it out?
Meredith: Probably. Yeah.
Meredith: [voiceover] And then you leave the OR.
Cristina: Do you wanna cry now?
Meredith: No!
Cristina: Ok, let's jog.
Meredith: [voiceover] And all that perfection, all that beautiful control, just falls to crap.

Christina: What is she doing?
George: She's hanging out with Alex.
Christina: Why?
George: I don't know... I think they might be friends.
George: Make the lamb stop screaming.